I just returned from a couple of weeks in the desert, a place I have always associated with solitude and spirituality colored in earth tones. This trip shifted that perspective. On the drive there I experienced a true winter wonderland, as the freshly fallen snow was everywhere. It was an incredibly beautiful sight to see, one that was in sharp contrast to the dry brown desert that I had always known. We even pulled off the highway so that my daughter could feel snow for the very first time.

I just returned from a couple of weeks in the desert, a place I have always associated with solitude and spirituality colored in earth tones. This trip shifted that perspective. On the drive there I experienced a true winter wonderland, as the freshly fallen snow was everywhere. It was an incredibly beautiful sight to see, one that was in sharp contrast to the dry brown desert that I had always known. We even pulled off the highway so that my daughter could feel snow for the very first time.

Fourteen days later on the drive home the desert had returned to its’ usual appearance except for a few patches of white that still remained on the high mountains.

I missed the white blanket of snow. As I thought about it, I realized that it was not the snow that I missed. It was the unexpected beauty of the experience that I longed for.

Now that I am back home, I still can savor the beauty of that drive. It brings a feeling of peace to me.

Life is like that. We experience the beauty of new experiences and we move on, cherishing those memories in our hearts. That beauty and peace stays within us.

We find it easier to see the beauty in others when we can feel beauty within ourselves. We bring peace to others when we are at peace. Amidst the uncertainty of the world, that beauty and peace makes an important difference in our outlooks, attitudes and tolerance levels.

Embrace the beauty and peace in your experiences and see your world change as you change.

I look around my world and see the effects of New Year’s Resolutions at the gym, at the tennis club and on the streets. Fresh energy leads to fresh attitudes, ready to re-shape bodies into healthier ones. This is such so exciting!

It is because as we take charge of our physical bodies, we invite other changes into our lives. Transformation can manifest itself in our emotional, mental and spiritual lives as well.

The power and control that we feel in taking an active step towards a better life is extremely empowering. When we feel better about ourselves and when we take responsibility for change, we become more attractive to ourselves and to others.

We also become more tolerant, kind and joyful because just as our bodies are becoming more flexible, we are inviting emotional and mental flexibility into our everyday existences as well. Flexibility leads to resilience, a quality we all can use in our constantly changing world.

So go ahead and increase your flexibility and your strength and you will see a beautiful difference in so many other areas of your life.

Since we are all affected by the positive and negative energies that surround us, we should try to surround ourselves with positive people and shield ourselves from the negative ones.

However, we can’t always avoid those negative ones in our lives. We work with them, we play with them, we are related to them.

We can all make big differences in small ways to those with negative energy. Someone who is going through a rough patch may be in dire need of someone who takes the time to show them kindness and understanding. This may be the catalyst that causes a shift in their own ways of thinking.

Usually people have negative energy if they have experienced hurt, rejection and anger in the past. They live a life of the glass being half full.

These people are chronically negative and try to keep others down by criticizing. They may never change but YOU can change the way you react to them.

Either way you can be strong. This week when the negative energy person in your life appears, try to listen to them and say something caring. Instead of saying, “Look on the bright side,” (they HATE this) say something like, “That must be hard on you. Would do you wish could happen?” This wishful way of thinking may be a new thing for them and it may stop them in their tracks. It also gives you the opportunity to show them as well as yourself that it is THEIR issue and NOT yours to fix.

When we are given the opportunity to address the issues in our own lives on our terms head-on, it becomes clear just who is the victim and who is the survivor.

There are people around us who are just plain toxic to our health. What can we do when we can’t get them out of our lives?

Continually seek out the wisdom and strength to realize your boundaries. When you deal with these individuals, know that it is more beneficial to your emotional, physical and spiritual health to ACT rather than REACT.

How do you view yourself? When you see yourself as someone who can be constantly criticized, you inevitably act out that role. You start attracting people who criticize.

On the other hand, when you see yourself as someone who can be treated with dignity and respect, your spirit knows this and naturally begins to protect itself by weeding out comments and actions by those who want to belittle you.

We have to believe in ourselves and our actions and reactions will follow suit. We will speak differently and realize that it is ultimately our own opinions that really matter. We begin to treat ourselves with the dignity and respect that we are craving.

This week be mindful of the instances where you feel like you were bullied, criticized or hurt and ask yourself whether you were ACTING or REACTING. You will feel greater power and control than ever before as you move into a beautiful state of harmony.

To Your Fulfillment,

Cara

Dr. Cara Alana is an inspiring Life Coach and author with a Doctorate in Psychology. Her empowering approach focuses on accelerated personal and professional growth where sustainable long-term change can be achieved, resulting in tremendous breakthroughs. Equipped with training in motivational psychology, she provides a safe and soothing place of growth and empowerment. What’s standing between you and your full happiness potential? Visit her website at http://www.lifefulfillmentnow.com 

Today I almost got into a car accident. I was in a parking lot stopped in my bright-you-can’t-miss-it red car with my daughter, waiting to turn left. All of a sudden we noticed a brand new Range Rover (the largest one) who decided for reasons unknown to put their gear in reverse and start backing up…fast! Luckily I pushed my hand on my steering wheel’s horn right away and kept it there while the Range Rover continued to back up. I thought the car would for sure hit me but they stopped with one or two inches to spare. Driving the Range Rover was a 20ish girl in the car who was texting on her cell phone. She just drove away, without an apology as at least ten people shook their heads at her.

An accident could have occurred because of multitasking and yet, we all look around and it is common to see drivers around us multitasking. They are holding their cell phones, talking and texting. Then there are always those who are putting on make-up, flossing, tweezing their eyebrows, shaving and even cutting grocery coupons with a scissors! I am sure that you have seen pretty crazy activities out there among your fellow drivers.

Are we really that rushed that we have to do these other things while operating a large piece of machinery? Are we “saving time” at everyone else’s expense?

By doing too much at one time or doing things too fast, we run the risk of costly mistakes which will cost us far more in time, money and energy than simply slowing down the pace and focusing on what you are doing.

Can we just slow down a bit?

Whatever happened to turning on the radio and winding down as we drive to our destinations? My Bluetooth has been missing in action for the past two weeks and I have been driving and listening to relaxing music and I notice that when I reach my destination I feel refreshed and recharged.

We have so many things to do in our days. We owe it to ourselves (and others) to slow down and cruise, especially when we are driving.

A Change of Scenery To Gain Clarity

Last year I spent half of the year in Hawaii. I know that the gorgeous sunsets, the vast Pacific, the emerald mountains and the amazing rainbows I saw each and every day allowed me to pause and reflect on the amazing beauty of the islands. Yet, it was something different that stirred emotions and feelings. It was the change in scenery and lifestyle that awoke ideas within me and sparked my creativity.

Sometimes a change of scenery is all we need to gain clarity.

My time in Hawaii made me absolutely aware that I wanted to inspire others more through my writing. It made my daughter absolutely aware that she wanted to study fine art. It made us both absolutely aware that beauty is all around us, everywhere we go and not just on a tropical island.

When we got back home, that beauty stayed within our hearts. Every afternoon when I take in the sunset in all of its’ red and orange hues, I breathe in the passion that has awoken within me. My daughter feels the passion when she draws, paints and designs.

I encourage you to try to find a place and time when you can seek a change of scenery to gain clarity. It can be triggered by a getaway to a different place but can also be close to home. It can be as simple as walking along the shore, taking in the beauty of nature or getting lost in a book.

These mini-getaways (whether physical or mental) can shift your perspective and give your mind, body and spirit a chance to sort out and recharge.

I encourage you to think about how you can get away to find a new perspective and new energy. Keep that vision alive as you make it happen.

It All Begins With A Vision, Your Vision

When you get inspired, you move closer to your vision, which reflects your passion and your purpose. Your vision is sacred and must be treated with care and respect. Write it down describing all that you can in vivid color. A design board or a notebook keeps your thoughts together and visually reinforces the life that you are moving towards.

You’ve heard of people putting pictures of a physically fit person on their refrigerator when trying to lose weight. This is a very effective tool to inspire and encourage. It engrains in the brain a positive result of what positive actions can produce.

Use that same technique to design your ideal life.

Amelia had been working in cubicle nation for fifteen years and had absolutely no interest in her job. Although she liked her salary, each year it became more and more meaningless because she felt that she was not making a difference in the world. She described herself as feeling like she was among the “walking dead,” those who woke up every day, went to work and came home all while on automatic pilot.

While visiting New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, she felt an incredible compassion stir within her as she saw the destruction. She spoke with many families and her heart opened up. For the first time in her life, she felt alive.

When she came home this passion stayed alive within her. She bought herself a scrapbook and started to fill it up with photos that touched her. She cut out photos from magazines of people touched by destruction, especially families with children.

This led to her realize that she did not have to move to New Orleans or become a full-time social worker to fulfill her passion. No, there were plenty of displaced families in her own area.

She started volunteering in local shelters and the difference in her demeanor is incredible. She reports that her life is filled with a depth that she could not get in cubicle nation.

You do not have to make a MAJOR change in your own life to make a MAJOR difference in the life of others.

It all begins with a VISION, your vision.

I Get My Best Ideas In the Bath

As we step in a New Year, let’s really stop the struggling with ourselves and begin trusting ourselves. We spend so much time and energy trying to achieve newer and greater things and can tend to lose sight of all of the beauty around us and within us along the way.

I get my best ideas in the bath. Seriously. It might be something about the flow of the water, the soothing warmth, the steam, the time-out relaxation time just for me. It is a place where I do not think about productivity or efficiency. I always effortlessly achieve my goal of relaxing my mind, body and spirit.

In the bath, solutions become clearer and my worries evaporate. That is why I make it a point to take one bath a day, usually after dinner before I really relax for the evening. Some days call for more than one bath and yes, they do make a difference in my peace and tranquility levels.

Try it! Let your family know that this is a time meant just for you, so unless it is a dire emergency (like imminent danger), you are not to be disturbed. Homework, phone calls and arguments among children DO NOT count as emergency or danger. This is a time when the family should be as quiet as possible so that when you are lounging in the bath trying to get your relaxation response, you do not turn off the water only to hear, “No fair, it’s MY turn! MOMMMMM!”

Maybe this could be a new tradition as you step into the New Year. Time just for you, what a novelty! You’ve got to leave the guilt and responsibility hat aside and let your husband watch the kids just for this short time. (When I mean short, it may just be five minutes at first but you can try to work up in small increments to a whopping twenty minutes or more!) Don’t worry about your family. They will eventually start to realize that after your bath, you are much more relaxed and peaceful, better equipped to conquer the entire family’s issues once again as the SuperMOM that you are.

So usher yourself out of this year and embrace the New Year and congratulations, you are now an official investor in yourself.

To Your Fulfillment,

Cara

Dr. Cara Alana is an inspiring Life Coach and author with a Doctorate in Psychology. Her empowering approach focuses on accelerated personal and professional growth where sustainable long-term change can be achieved, resulting in tremendous breakthroughs. Equipped with training in motivational psychology, she provides a safe and soothing place of growth and empowerment. What’s standing between you and your full happiness potential? Visit her website at http://www.lifefulfillmentnow.com