The Beauty That Can’t Be Bottled

 

I know many women who have lived their lives to please other people. First it’s parents, then friends, then husbands, then children. There comes a point of awakening, most commonly when the kids are practically self-sufficient, when these women realize that they have been living by someone else’s rules. They wonder to themselves, “When can I start living the life that I want?”

What a tough question. Difficult because deep down they do not even know what they really, really want. Of course, there’s the obvious. There’s happiness, good health, and let’s not forget a youthful appearance. But women want more. They want passion and purpose for themselves.

Are you one of these women? If so, you are a fully authorized, entirely normal woman who is waking up to your true self. 

Try this exercise. Write down five things that you want in your life, for example to write a book, transition to a new career or eat healthier for optimal health. After each wish, write down ways that you can move towards that particular goal. After that, write down how achieving the goal would make you feel. Your feelings in accomplishing your dreams are powerful, so powerful that they will be the fuel that keeps you moving forward towards the new you. 

You’ve already given so much of yourself to others. Why not start spending some time with yourself each day? For instance, if it’s a book you want to write, you can start writing for one hour a day without asking anyone for their permission. Don’t even ask yourself, you might not allow yourself to take the time to do your own thing. After all, you’ve been working for others for years. Once you take the first steps, you’ll be energized by this process because it shows your dreams that they are big enough to be invested in. 

And about the youthful appearance? Following your dreams will help take care of that. The process of honoring your dreams will bring you an abundance of energy and joy that radiates to the heart a beauty that cannot be bottled.

 

 

Sometimes Life Makes You Wait

 

Life has a timing all of its’ own. It can make us impatient and compare ourselves to others. We can feel disappointed in ourselves for not reaching our goals set for specific time frames. Society has a way of setting firm milestones that we all “should” achieve. For instance, not being married by age thirty, not having the first baby by age 35, not having the dream house/car/career by age 40. It can stir up frustration and discontent, but it doesn’t have to. 

There is another way to look at this. If we look at this time table in a positive way, we can stare life straight in the face and thank it.

We can say things like:

Life did me a favor. If I was this successful at age 25, I would not have been ready for it. In fact, I might have just spent everything recklessly.

If I would have had kids earlier, I wouldn’t have been able to experience all that I have. Now I’m ready to give kids my all, giving them all that they need and deserve.

If I would have met my husband earlier, I would not have experienced the life lessons I needed to learn in order to fully appreciate all of his wonderful qualities.

You can live by your own rules and redefine what your best life looks like. 

Coaching Tip: Try to see the beauty in all aspects of your life, no matter where you are in life. Whatever you are doing, stop and reflect on all the really good things you have, whatever you are doing.

 

Lack The Energy To Reach Your Goals?

Energy is a valuable resource that we need to get things done. We all want to wake up refreshed and ready to face any challenge the day brings. We all want to run towards our goals.

The problem is we have many challenges and we want out goals TODAY, or at least very soon. We get impatient and disappointed. Our energy levels go down.

So how do we get our energy levels higher? First, figure out what the challenges are. After that, release negative emotions and move forward with confidence.

Taylor wanted to lose twenty pounds. She purchased fitness magazines full of exercises and motivation, along with some DVDs. She had it all planned. She would work out every morning and every evening for thirty minutes each. She could totally do it. As the months passed, she realized that there were many reasons why she didn’t.

Her reasons varied between her baby needing attention, her husband needing attention, her dog needing attention, the house needing attention, and the yard needing attention. These things called out to her and stopped her from paying attention to her own needs.

What she really lacked was the energy to say no. It was easier to say yes to all these other needs than to say no. After all, becoming fit is hard work!

She realized that she needed more energy right away. But, it wasn’t until she actually WANTED more energy that the real transformation could occur.

Taylor realized that she had to put her fitness as one of her top priorities. The challenges of all the other things calling out for her would have to wait. She exercised before and after her baby awoke (and if the baby did awake during that time, her husband was “on call”) and mentally devoted that twenty minutes twice a day for herself and her health. 

She also realized that she had to put past negative experiences behind her and treat her body with respect. She stopped complaining about her “problem areas” and celebrated her efforts and victories. Not only did her energy dramatically increase, she lost fifteen pounds!

With five pounds left towards her goal, she is confident that she will be there soon, with energy to spare.

Energy is so important to our health and happiness!

 

Designing

Do you find yourself “too busy” to reach for your goals? Are you being caught up in the “shoulds” and the “coulds” of life that stand in the way of your “wants?” Are you doing so much for other people that you have no time or energy to devote to yourself?

Try this. Sit in a quiet place and close your eyes. Visualize your ideal life. Experience every aspect of it. What do you see, hear and feel? Write down all the things that fulfill you. This list is only for you so freely write down every detail without editing. 

What are the differences from your current life? Make a list of the current status of each of the items from your “wish” list, above. These are the things to improve or advance in order to live to your fullest potential.

You now have a clear vision of your life goals. Your lists reflect this. You have taken the first brave steps and are on your way to happiness and true fulfillment! 

Writing down what you really want is powerful. It provides you with clarity. As you are faced with choices and decisions, you can ask yourself if it fits your vision of your ideal life. You are taking control of the direction your life is headed. It can keep you on track as you confidently walk forward towards your dreams.

You are designing your life. 

To Your Fulfillment,

Cara

  

To Work Or Not To Work

I recently had a group of women gather together in a room to honor working and stay-at-home moms and their contribution and their support that they so unselfishly gave to their children. At first, it was nice and easy as all of the women looked genuinely happy to be at what they called a “social outing.” It was to be a 3-hour get-together complete with organic teas, healthy snacks and some unhealthy but sinfully delectable desserts. These mothers looked relaxed and genuinely happy to be there. They smiled as they complemented each other on clothing, hair and purses.

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During the last month hopefully you were able to sit down to reflect on the things that you seek to make up your ideal relationship. Wasn’t it an eye-opening experience?

Here is an example from a client of mine we’ll call Kelly (with her permission, of course). Kelly came to me because she really wanted to have direction in her dating life. She could not find a man who she trusted.

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Since there is a direct correlation between our happiness and stress with our health, it is important to strive for healthy relationships instead of toxic ones. A healthy relationship includes gratitude, happiness and closeness as serotonin flows freely through the brain. A toxic relationship raises our heart rate and our blood pressure while putting stress on the immune system. You know if you are in a toxic relationship. You are suffering, lonely and not appreciated. All of this manifests itself as disappointment, destructive emotions and most likely physical symptoms.

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As we begin the New Year we are excited for the changes we are all going to be making in our lives.  We want to lose weight, eat healthier, become stronger, spend more time with our loved ones, find work that brings true passion and look and feel our best. We want to make this year the year of discovery and action. (more…)

I live in Southern California where wildfires recently raged through, burning more land than the Hawaiian island of Oahu. The closest fire to me was deliberately and professionally set and mostly 90% contained as I write this due to wind shifts and cooler temperatures. It filled the air with a giant amount of smoke, ash and harmful chemicals. The air and sky were an ugly brownish color and the sun appeared red. Your eyes burned and you could not take a full breath. Even with every window in your house tightly closed, you could smell smoke. Many times I was sure that there was a fire in my own home.

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