A portion of the following article recently appeared on a HUGE life and style site that reaches millions of viewers, glam.com (www.glam.com). It is a genuine honor to be selected as a feature author on their empowerment page!

In our fast-paced world, many of us feel the desire to slow down. And yet, we don’t. For instance, when was the last time you rested? I mean, take a quiet time-out during the day when you have “so- much-to-do” type of resting? Exactly!

The truth is that with all of our society’s technological advances, we are finding ourselves trying to keep up with the pace. We start to cram more and more into our already busy lives. We find that multitasking has become a way of life. We frantically try to cross off every item on our to-do lists and feel like failures when we fall short.

Why do we expect so much of ourselves?

When are we going to slow down and rest?

Rest does not have to mean a nap. It can mean not checking your email or surfing the internet for half an hour. It can mean sitting quietly and pausing to reflect. It can be closing your eyes and letting your mind really relax.

These small acts ways of relaxing make profound differences in your focus and your energy. By taking the time to simply slow down, you allow your mind, body and spirit to relax, refresh and rejuvinate.

This week I encourage you to be really mindful of adding some rest time to your life. Take time out to rest from the noise (and your phone) and let yourself go to a place of quiet. Just fifteen minutes a day will make a BIG difference. The concept is so simple and yet, why aren’t we doing it?

Give your to-do list a makeover.  

Part of relaxing is taking time to prove to yourself that you deserve to take some time for yourself. You have the intention to slow down and relax and you will, that is, after and only after all of the items on your To-Do list are completed.

Let’s take a look at this To-Do-list. It may contain errands you need to run in order to make your life run more smoothly. These might include the grocery store, putting in gas and washing the clothes. However, many women I know also put items on this list that they WANT to do but now have evolved into things they NEED to know. These include losing twenty pounds, getting rid of their wrinkles and getting six-pack abs.

The problem with these “bigger” goals is that they are items that are not easily checked off, at least now this week. These goals take an enormous amount of time, energy and dedication. Including these items on your regular To-Do list is not only unfair to these “bigger” goals, they are unfair to YOU. No wonder you can’t rest!

Try this. Limit your To-Do list to simple tasks that can be done today or at least this week like going to the dry cleaners, washing your car or going through that pile of papers on the table. By keeping this list simple with manageable items, you are saving yourself a great deal of stress and anxiety. You are also giving yourself the gift of progress at the end of each day.

The “bigger” goals can me on another list that you can call your “Future Wish List” list. You can break these big goals down into mini-goals. For example, if your goals are to lose twenty pounds you can break that down into diet, exercise and attitude and celebrate each small victory instead of chronically like a failure. The weight of not failing short of accomplishing all of your goals can really hold you back. By putting items on their respective lists, you can sort them out in your mind as what is reasonable and unreasonable for today.

So give yourself a break. You will be able to relax knowing that you have created more space in your life to rest in the luxury of today’s accomplishment.

Have you lost your optimism?

In today’s economic climate, it is easy to lose our optimism. That is why it is so important now more than ever to embrace what we are grateful for, even if it is one thing and that thing seems small like that you CAN pay your bills, that gas went down 30% since last month, and that you and your family are able to celebrate Thanksgiving this year.

It’s the simple things that can make all the difference. So can relaxation.

Are you getting enough sleep each night? Try to get at least seven hours of sleep for a couple of nights and observe how your energy and tolerance levels go up.

Are you practicing positive self-talk about your body? Ladies, this is an IMPORTANT one because your body hears everything you say and can get pretty resentful if you are critical. So be easy on yourself, your body will thank you and start cooperating when you want to move it around.

Are you loving and respectful? It is not easy to be kind when others are not, but by keeping a spirit of loving kindness, you are allowing your spirit to experience an invaluable sense of peace.

No matter what is going on in your life and in your world, you CAN control how you react and interact with yourself and with others. And in this crazy world, THAT we can be grateful for.

To Your Fulfillment,

Cara

Clutter stands in the way of clarity. Clutter, especially paper pile-up can make you feel guilty and stuck. Are you saving things “just in case?” Chances are you may not be able to find it later anyways. Do you feel overwhelmed? Clearing even one drawer or one pile can work wonders towards mental clarity. It brings a sense of achievement and hope. For lifting spirits, it is VERY effective. Wouldn’t you rather look at a pure and empty space? It may seem like too big of a job but take it one day at a time. Remember, little by little does get the job done. You’ll me amazed how much you’re holding on to.

What can do you with all the clutter you are going to go through? Donate it to a women’s shelter or a local charity. If you wait for that big garage sale, you are just rearranging your clutter for a later date. Garage sales aren’t that great. Everybody nickels and dimes you and you still are stuck with most of your items. With your $21.50 profit (after nine painful hours of dealing with the best bargainers in history not to mention the time the night before spent preparing) you then drive all the leftovers to the local charity or worse yet, store the items in the garage for the next big garage sale. No, no more.

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The Beauty That Can’t Be Bottled

I know many women who have lived their lives to please other people. First it’s parents, then friends, then husbands, then children. There comes a point of awakening, most commonly when the kids are practically self-sufficient, when these women realize that they have been living by someone else’s rules. They wonder to themselves, “When can I start living the life that I want?”

What a tough question. Difficult because deep down they do not even know what they really, really want. Of course, there’s the obvious. There’s happiness, good health, and let’s not forget a youthful appearance. But women want more. 

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To Work Or Not To Work

I recently had a group of women gather together in a room to honor working and stay-at-home moms and their contribution and their support that they so unselfishly gave to their children. At first, it was nice and easy as all of the women looked genuinely happy to be at what they called a “social outing.” It was to be a 3-hour get-together complete with organic teas, healthy snacks and some unhealthy but sinfully delectable desserts. These mothers looked relaxed and genuinely happy to be there. They smiled as they complemented each other on clothing, hair and purses.

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During the last month hopefully you were able to sit down to reflect on the things that you seek to make up your ideal relationship. Wasn’t it an eye-opening experience?

Here is an example from a client of mine we’ll call Kelly (with her permission, of course). Kelly came to me because she really wanted to have direction in her dating life. She could not find a man who she trusted.

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Since there is a direct correlation between our happiness and stress with our health, it is important to strive for healthy relationships instead of toxic ones. A healthy relationship includes gratitude, happiness and closeness as serotonin flows freely through the brain. A toxic relationship raises our heart rate and our blood pressure while putting stress on the immune system. You know if you are in a toxic relationship. You are suffering, lonely and not appreciated. All of this manifests itself as disappointment, destructive emotions and most likely physical symptoms.

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As we begin the New Year we are excited for the changes we are all going to be making in our lives.  We want to lose weight, eat healthier, become stronger, spend more time with our loved ones, find work that brings true passion and look and feel our best. We want to make this year the year of discovery and action. (more…)

I live in Southern California where wildfires recently raged through, burning more land than the Hawaiian island of Oahu. The closest fire to me was deliberately and professionally set and mostly 90% contained as I write this due to wind shifts and cooler temperatures. It filled the air with a giant amount of smoke, ash and harmful chemicals. The air and sky were an ugly brownish color and the sun appeared red. Your eyes burned and you could not take a full breath. Even with every window in your house tightly closed, you could smell smoke. Many times I was sure that there was a fire in my own home.

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